Interpersonal Deception Theory

People are less than completely honest in order to avoid hurting or offending another person, to avoid getting into a conflict, or to speed up / slow down a relationship.

First, you could lie… second, you could tell part of the truth while leaving out important details… or third, you could be intentionally vague or evasive… The three differ, yet all three are deception.

Deception is: a message knowingly transmitted by a sender to foster a false belief or conclusion by the receiver. Deception is accomplished by manipulating information.

A successful deceiver must
(1)consciously manipulate information to create a plausible message,
(2)present it in a sincere manner,
(3)monitor reactions,
(4)prepare follow-up responses, and
(5)get ready for damage control of a tarnished image…
…all at the same time.

People differ in their ability to deal with these complex mental tasks, but at some point the strategic requirements of deception can produce a mental overload.

Deceivers often “leak”: the person being deceived catches hints that something’s up. However, as interaction increases, “leakage” decreases. Probably because deceivers are eager to resolve the issue; silence or sudden stops increases their anxiety and visible signs of guilt begin to show.

The person being deceived also can realize deception if the deceiver’s communication is unexpected. This is because–as we learned from Expectancy Violations Theory–the unexpected causes us to search, more frantically, for understanding–our senses and curiousities are heightened.

To mask their deceitful leakage, deceivers try to appear extra sincere: careful articulation, nodding, mindful eye contact, and frequent smiles or laughs. Almost all communication is intentional, goal directed, and mindful…deceptive communication is simply more so.

As a side note: People who expect honesty have a better chance of getting it than do those who doubt everything that’s said.

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The Ethics of Deception
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Immanuel Kant stated: Act only in a way which you can also will to become a universal law. Kant directed us to always ask the question “What if everybody did that?” We have a duty to do what we want others to do.

(Saint Augustine) “If any lies, like other sins, steal upon us, they should seek not to be justified but to be pardoned. “

Liars downplay the impact of their falsehood on the persons deceived and almost always ignore the long-term effects on themselves and everyone else. They overlook the fact that all lies contribute to an erosion of confidence in people’s word.

Lying requires a compelling reason; truth telling does not. This is much like I said here: Quote

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